Regardless of what you think, when your pen won’t hit the paper, or your paint won’t touch the page, the muse is always with you, and she will never leave your side. And she’ll make her presence known when she damn well pleases. You can’t pressure her to show up for you. You just have to keep showing up. And your productivity, your creative output, your fulfillment of potential, it will never be enough to make you feel enough if you don’t feel it already. Productivity is not a requirement for you to be enough. You will never be fulfilled. There will always be more to create. There will always be more to say, more to do, more to be. More to strive for. More to work for. More.
But can you open yourself up, and be a channel for the beauty anyways? Can you let it move through you freely? And without the promise of satisfaction at completion, can you be at peace? Can you accept this constant bit of dissatisfaction that will forever be inherent, even when you think you should be satisfied?
Can you fall in love with the art of doing? And with the simple art of being? Can you let go of the words you think you need to say, and let the words that ache to be said come barreling through you? Can you let them go? Can you create without attachment to the results?
This is life work. And it will work you for your entire life. Will you sign up, anyways? Will you show up, day after day after day? Can you let your expression be free?
Free is a verb. Free is expressed. Free is not had. It is not something that you can pocket one day, then keep forever. It is a way of doing things, repeatedly. Much like confidence, free is a state of being. It is not something that you can claim once, then have forever. You must claim it, and act with it, repeatedly. You must claim it again, and again, and again. You must notice when it starts to slip through your fingers, and you must fight like hell to get it back.
We’re in a perpetual state of movement. I will not tell you to be still and breathe right now. I’m telling you to go. Run like mad to what you know you need. And refuse to let go. Insist, insist, insist, upon what you know you deserve. Return again and again and again and again to the truth of who you are.
You are human, creature, god. You are madness, brilliance, beauty. You are free.
Act like it.